We have all experienced unfulfilled expectations and painful experiences: when we cling to them, we stay away from flying and enjoying our precious lives. Instead, we are burdened by the pain and burden of feeling betrayed. But it is possible to let it go, and I am here to tell you that there is no better time than now for sacred personal healing.
In this article, I will share with you how, by forgiving, you can lead a happier life again; and the exact steps you can take to forgive someone who has hurt you.
Why it seems so hard to forgive
I often see people stumble and get stuck because they believe that if they forgive, it will be as if the initial damage or betrayal had never happened. People who have been hurt feel that when someone has done something wrong, they should not be able to get away with it.
But that simply is not true. We do not forgive another person for their benefit, and we do not try to pretend that nothing happened. Instead, we forgive ourselves. We do it so that we can go beyond that pain.
Another reason why it may seem hard to forgive is that we might perceive the act of forgiveness as a betrayal of ourselves in some way, or we might feel that by forgiving us we might be exposing ourselves to being vulnerable and hurting ourselves again.
Damage and injury can leave feelings of bitterness, resentment and anger for years. We can get to the point where we feel victimized by what others have done to us. When we feel victims, our feelings do not protect us, but harm us. We are locked in emotional prisons full of pain. How can we live happy and expansive lives from that place?
The importance of learning to forgive
There are medical studies that show the link between forgiveness and health. Karen Swartz, a psychiatrist at Johns Hopkins Medicine, shared that "there is a huge physical burden to feel hurt and disappointed." He also claimed that chronic anger puts him in a fight or flight mode, resulting in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. These changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions.
Forgiveness, however, can lead to lower levels of stress and anxiety, less depression, healthier and closer relationships, a healthier heart, lower blood pressure levels, lower levels of physical pain, better sleep , better function of the immune system and more. It is very simple, forgiving, we heal from within!
Until we forgive, it is we who pay the highest price. Our trapped emotions can become so overwhelming that they affect our current relationships and our ability to connect authentically and lovingly with ourselves and with others. Only when we really forgive will we be free of pain, pain and anger. If we cling to them, we can not enjoy the present and they will affect our health in many ways.
Here's the thing: when we forgive, we do not pretend that the initial harm or betrayal never happened, we are actually doing ourselves a favor. The person you forgive will still have their own karmic debt for all their actions.
However, when we forgive, we are becoming free. When we focus on resentment towards others or even ourselves, we can not listen to the messages of our soul. When we let it go, we can tune it in more deeply.
Forgiveness requires courage because beneath our personal history of pain and suffering, we always have the option of accessing our totality and taking advantage of our innate joy and compassion. Eventually, we will free our hearts from the prison of resentment, and we will be open to a new way of being and living that we could only dream of at this moment.
How to forgive someone who has hurt you (Step by step guide)
"Forgiveness is a conscious decision and a state of mind that we can cultivate through daily practice." Here are some easy steps to follow that you can follow to begin your journey of forgiveness: 19659017] 1. Connect with your emotions
Honor where you are at this moment, without judgment. Be gentle with yourself and take possession of everything that comes up. Only with experience without blaming anyone. Something you could do is write your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper, so you can clarify what they are.
Then, ask yourself what you can do to find a way out and work through those emotions: you could go for a walk, spend time in nature, do something creative (paint, draw, color a mandala, sing, play music, etc.), write a Letter of Forgiveness, get help from a counselor or coach.
2. Releasing the past
To move forward in our lives, one of the key things we must do is release the past and live in the present moment. We often carry the past with us, and if we are not aware of this, the past will weigh us down and we will feel trapped. Without a regular practice of liberation, we develop a delay of unprocessed emotions and mental disorder. This clouds our vision and can make it difficult to see the next steps towards a happier life.
Practice life in the present moment by sitting in silence and observing your breathing, or simply by going out and appreciating the beauty that surrounds you now.  You could also use the diary as another resource to be more present. You could ask yourself these questions as the journal asks you to help you release your trapped emotions: Who would it be without anger, pain and resentment? How would my life be different?
3. Regain your power
Start writing a new story for you. You were not born as a victim and forgiveness is not a unique experience, you have to commit to continue choosing it again and again. No one has the power to make you feel uncomfortable without your consent.
When the familiar hurtful feelings return, remind yourself that you choose to forgive; you choose to recover your power and choose love. I used this statement myself, and it has been very useful for me:
"Today is the perfect time to recover my power, because I love myself enough to free myself from those old memories and emotions." I choose to be free and happier NOW "
The will to change has to come from deep within us. We find it when we begin to believe that having happy lives, full of loving and meaningful relationships is our birthright.
4. Embrace the lesson
Every experience we have is a learning experience. Sometimes we go through the fire, but I can tell you that we came out stronger than before.
Even if we think that what happened to us is unfair, those experiences are part of our spiritual growth here on the planet. If we are open to see it, those dark times transform us and help us see new perspectives and perspectives. I have seen many people experience difficult times, which have been the catalyst to create a new and inspiring story for themselves.
5. Send love and light
Once you have completed the steps above, you can begin to send love to people who hurt you. I know it's difficult at first, but this is a game changer! Instead of sending bad vibes to people who hurt you, send them love and light. When you do this, there is no emotional debt between them and them, and you can celebrate your own freedom with a grateful heart!
As part of the forgiveness process, you also need to forgive yourself. We can have judgments about our own expectations. We can think about what it should or could have been.
However, when we forgive, we must abandon the idea that the past should have been or have been different or better. We can not change the past, so we must not allow the past to keep us prisoners. Instead, we need to see the hidden value of what happened, there is always a lesson. As we develop that clarity, we release ourselves from the past and begin to look forward.
Start forgiving now
Forgiveness helps us keep our energy clear.
When we embrace forgiveness, we also embrace peace, hope, gratitude, joy and general well-being. By embracing him, we also accept who we are: love. When we forgive, we return to power and control over our own lives.
Forgiveness gives us freedom. Otherwise, we live carrying that emotional debt with us.
Begin to forgive with the steps I mentioned above and you will also start living a happier life.
Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com
The publication How to forgive and live a happy life again (Step by step guide) first appeared in Lifehack.